Category: #memorybears

Sudden Grief and The Invisible Brick Wall

Sudden Grief and The Invisible Brick Wall

 

I really debated (with myself) all day long as to whether or not I should blog about what happened to me today. Well, as you can see, I decided that it might just be helpful to another grieving mom to know that she is not alone in this journey.

Today is Sunday, November 25, 2018, and I woke-up doing just fine. Then, just out of nowhere came that ‘invisible brick wall”, that darn thing just pop-ups out of nowhere! So to share with you exactly what happened, here ya go!

Walking down the hall to my bedroom I felt an overwhelming and crushing sense of grief and then it came flooding back to me…that dreadful day 17 years..this exact day! I could smell the hospital, hear the slight breathing of my sleeping toddler laying on my chest and the heaviness in my arms as had to lay her on the bed for life flight to take her to Akron Children’s Hospital. It truly felt as if I was reliving this moment! So weird for me!!

I WANT TO SCREAM!

It’s been years since I’ve felt this deepness of grief! Don’t get me wrong, I feel sorrow throughout the year with the normal milestones of life and celebrations…but NOTHING like I’ve been dealing with today!

I take very special care of what type of movies I watch, music I listen to and even company I keep so I can say that today’s issues had nothing to do with anything external.

 

John 14:18 King James Version (KJV)

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

 

THEN IT HIT ME!

As I was in the kitchen cooking, and fighting back the tears I had a random thought…random powerful thought, “Why, for this moment, can’t I disconnect my mind from my heart”.  But then, why would I? 

Digging My Heels In!

I will not waver in my faith; the Lord has been good to me. Today is just a day for additional spiritual growth for me. I’m very aware of how moments like this (the revisiting of my daughters’ death) and how the Lord uses these moments for growing me. I still ask for prayer, I mean, really I am human and still have to deal with the world around me. Plus, we were all made for relationships and to support one another. During times like this, I make extra time for myself, away from my family whether it’s reading, sewing, or just typing on my blog.

 

Psalm 23:4

 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil,

for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

 

Memory Bears made from your favorite clothing made right here in Beaufort, South Carolina. My Sewing Needle is owned and operated solely by Stephanie Grams. Grams has been sewing since her grandma and mother taught her at the age of seven, and hasn’t put the sewing needle down since! You can find Grams selling her OOAK primitive dolls and offering memory bear sewing services year round! Visit Stephanie’s contact page for media inquiries and/or to place an order for a memory bear!

Memory Bears are Teddy Bears Made from Clothing

What is a Memory Bear?

A memory bear is a stuffed teddy bear made from your favorite clothing or clothing from a loved one that has passed away. Memory bears come in all sizes. The typical size requested is 15″-18″ in length.

How is a Memory Bear Made?

A memory bear, or keepsake teddy bear, is made from a few pieces of your favorite clothing. Most memory bears are made from 3 pieces of clothing or a combination of clothing, ties, and blankets. Your memory bear designer can discuss these details with you before you place and pay for your order.

How long does it take to make a memory bear?

Memory bears can take 7-12 business days depending on the number of memory bears you order. Many people like to place group size orders to save on shipping and many times the memory bear designer will give a discount on large group orders.

Why would I pay for a memory bear when some volunteer for free?

There is a saying that goes, “you get what you pay for” and that means you may never know who the memory bear designer is and may not know what your memory bear will look like until it is delivered to you. There are horror stories of unpleasant looking memory bears being made by volunteers, and the sad truth is, once your favorite piece of clothing is cut, there’s nothing you can do to fix it. Why take the chance on receiving an unsightly memory bear when you could have a beautiful one made for an affordable price?

How do I order a memory bear?

This process of ordering your custom memory bear from Stephanie Grams (My Sewing Needle) is super simple!

  1. You pick out your favorite, freshly laundered clothing (no fabric softener, please)
  2. Shipping them to me with your order form and payment (payments taken through Paypal)
  3. I design and sew your bear according to your request
  4. I ship your bear back to you!

We have a dedicated page for ordering processes and FAQ 

How much is a memory bear?

Our memory bears are frugally priced at $75.00 and INCLUDES SHIPPING  (UNITED STATES ONLY). The memory bear is packaged nicely and ready to be given as a gift (or keep for yourself), shipped via USPS with basic insurance and a tracking number. I will send you the tracking number so you can track your memory bear!

Do you have pictures of your memory bears?

Yes, I have pictures of my memory bears and testimonials!

 

 

#memorybears #memorybear

 

 

 

Memory Bears made from your favorite clothing made right here in Beaufort, South Carolina. My Sewing Needle is owned and operated solely by Stephanie Grams. Grams has been sewing since her grandma and mother taught her at the age of seven, and hasn’t put the sewing needle down since! You can find Grams selling her OOAK primitive dolls and offering memory bear sewing services year round! Visit Stephanie’s contact page for media inquiries and/or to place an order for a memory bear!

Self Care During Grief

No one had ever mentioned self-care during the time of my daughters’ death and it was something that I eventually found on my own. Hannah death occurred during the Thanksgiving weekend while I was attending college, while other families were enjoying their long weekend off from classes, I was consumed with the reality that my youngest daughter would be leaving me soon.

My college classes resumed the Monday after Hannah was buried and so did a new way of living, for me and my family. I began to realize that each day was almost melting into the next and I could not seem to grasp a new way of life. Old routines where I would juggle five children, household duties, and college classes were no longer my reality and I was now forced to figure out a “new normal” for all of us. During this time of new, I lost all sense of self-care.

I would like to share some of the practical ways I began to provide myself with the self-care that I so desperately needed and in truthfully, so did my other children. Learning how to move forward from a devastating loss affects you and those around you. As the mom, I was seen as the pillar of my family and I could not allow myself to sit in my grief and ignore my other children, however, I needed a healthy way to care for my wounds and move forward.

Please remember, I am not giving medical advice, just sharing what has worked for me and my family. 

 

  •  Evening Routine – I began putting my four children to be at a regular time each evening, even during weekends and holidays. Every evening we would eat dinner together at the table, each child had a chore so she could feel like she was an active part of the family. After we ate, we all cleaned up; the table, the floor, and the stove were all cleared off and washed. All the dishes were washed, dried and put away.
  • Bedtime – After dinner, all of the children would get a bath and head up to their bedrooms to make sure that their school clothes were laid out for the next day, and that their rooms were tidy. After everyone was in their rooms I would read a child book to them and then go around the bedroom and say our prayers. From there I would tuck them each into their beds, put on the night lights, and go downstairs alone.
  • Personal Time – Evening was the absolute worse time of the day for me. Truthfully, I was so lonely and that is when my grief was the worst. It was pertinent for me to find ways to care for myself and I knew that once my children were in bed, that I needed to fully utilize that time. Every evening I would take a hot bath and read a chapter out of a devotional book, from there I would make a cup of hot tea, light a tea light candle, and continue my time with the Lord.

Tiny positive habits make the journey through grief more manageable ~ Stephanie Grams

 

Memory Bears made from your favorite clothing made right here in Beaufort, South Carolina. My Sewing Needle is owned and operated solely by Stephanie Grams. Grams has been sewing since her grandma and mother taught her at the age of seven, and hasn’t put the sewing needle down since! You can find Grams selling her OOAK primitive dolls and offering memory bear sewing services year round! Visit Stephanie’s contact page for media inquiries and/or to place an order for a memory bear!

5 Helpful Tips for Bereaved Parents

When my daughter, Hannah Grace, passed away it was four days after Thanksgiving and less than a month before Christmas. I had already purchased some Christmas gifts for her and was trying to figure out what to do with what I purchased. I did not feel I could keep them, yet I knew I could not give them away. Gift giving was definitely a touchy subject for my friends and family and I knew they had questions but did not know how to approach me.

I took the lead and asked my mom and one of my sisters to please take Hannah’s gifts and donate them because someone in our community would be able to use them as Christmas gifts. Saying all of that, I remember an outpouring of people in my community bringing gifts for my other four children through the weeks between Hannah’s burial and Christmas Eve.

Here are some tips that helped my family during our time of bereavement:

  1. Talk about the deceased person – I had to talk about Hannah. Yes, I cried but it was so important for me to talk about her and include her in the festivities. My friends and family allowed me to bring her name up, and this was the best choice of action.
  2. Include the deceased person – I received a few gifts that were personalized with Hannah’s name and those were so meaningful to me! It made me realize that Hannah meant as much to them as she did to me.
  3. Start a tradition – I wanted my other daughters to remember their sister so I made it my personal mission to come up with a tradition that we could implement for major holidays. At Christmas, I still hang a stocking for Hannah but place gifts for each of my daughters into her stocking such as a locket or some type of trinket.
  4. Be at Peace – You have to decide if you are going to come to terms with your loss. Once you are able to deal in a healthy manner with the loss of your loved one, those around will feel that and begin to heal. If you are dealing with emotional depression, please seek out the proper medical help.
  5. Be Patient – It was so difficult for me to put on a brave face for my children, husband and family members but I had to so they could see that it was okay for them to enjoy the holiday. I was able to cry in front of them, and that was good for all of us. We all recognized the emptiness that Hannah’s death left in our family and we were there for one another. This is how our healing began and continues to this day.

My advice comes from a personal point of view and is not medical advice. I am a mom who has lost two children: one due to a miscarriage at 9 weeks gestation and another child at the age of 14-months due to a virus.

 

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Stephanie Grams, owner of “My Sewing Needle” and “The Memory Bear Coach”, married and mother to many. Contact me for interviews, business coaching, memorial sewing services, or media!

Memory Bears made from your favorite clothing made right here in Beaufort, South Carolina. My Sewing Needle is owned and operated solely by Stephanie Grams. Grams has been sewing since her grandma and mother taught her at the age of seven, and hasn’t put the sewing needle down since! You can find Grams selling her OOAK primitive dolls and offering memory bear sewing services year round! Visit Stephanie’s contact page for media inquiries and/or to place an order for a memory bear!