A Mom's View: How to Deal with the Death of a Child The ordeal actually…
Judging from the Outside: Coping with Chronic illness
Two of my four (living) daughters live with a chronic illness, epilepsy. When they were very young (ages 11 months; 2 years) we spent every 4th month traveling to a large children’s hospital for neurology check-ups and lab work. We had a great neurologist! As I sit back and think over these years I find myself teary-eyed and baffled at how I ever made it through without being put on some type of medication!
From the outside, people I have come into contact with through church, business, and college, have unknowingly called me “scattered brain” or “airhead” based on the outward appearance of my actions. The strange thing is that those were the exact moments that I was dealing with some form of a medical emergency with one of my children. I was judged from the outside without the person taking any thought as to why I might be coming across in a certain manner.
OUCH! Those Accusations!
From the outside, people judge another person without taking the time to get to know them or their situation. I mean, who has time these days to get to know another person? (honest sarcasm wrote here)
Here is a list of accusations I’ve dealt with and the reason behind them, let me know if you can relate!
- Are you bipolar? No, I just dealt with my child having a major seizure and her foot was stuck in the back of the kitchen chair while her body was flinging off the side and her head was banging into the wall! Now, let’s talk about business deals!
- Are you depressed? No, I’m just dealing with another set back with my daughters (yes, plural.) lab results and it looks like both children have to have a 5-day hospital stay so we can figure out what medication will actually stop their episodes while making sure my other two daughters have a safe place to stay, food to eat, and get to school on time. Oh, plus I have some virtual assistant business clients expecting their blog content to be completed on time.
- Are you tired? Yes, I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night without waking up to make sure my children were still alive.
- Are you lazy? No, in fact, I’m the most organized, purpose-driven mother you’ll ever know. I can guarantee you that my calendar all-in-one planner would make your head spin! Perhaps this is why I’m a white belt Lean Six Sigma and have companies ask me to “volunteer” my time to get their team organized. (Unfortunately, I can’t take zero payment for these services because I have a family to care for financially. )
- Are you OCD? Uhm, let’s see! If making sure the medication is organized and properly placed …or that there are no tripping hazards (everywhere we go), or making sure that they are never, EVER alone, or keeping my eyes on them in the pool or ocean, or checking how often they suffer from migraines.. and the other 1 MILLION other things I think about on a daily basis… then perhaps I am OCD.
This blog post was a snippet of humor and reality and is meant to help other mom’s ‘laugh through the tears’ of having loved and lost while caring for chronically ill loved ones. There are so many things that go through our minds on a daily basis, and even more unexpected things that get thrown into our day that we either become very organized and methodical or we allow them to pull us under. It’s our choice! We choose whether we are going to excel or suffocate. I hope you choose to excel, my friend!
Be the one person in another person’s life that makes them feel VICTORIOUS instead of VICTIMIZED! Our world and the major message that is spread through advertising is hurtful to our spirit, in fact, most of the news stories and funding are based on VICTIMIZATION and not VICTORIOUS living. Be the victorious women you were made to be, regardless of the hurdles in your life!
Be mindful of your music, your friends, your reading material, your social media connections, your relatives. Stand firm on the truth that you are here for a reason and you are walking this personalized journey.for.a.reason! Acknowledge the struggles, the pain, the uneasy and uncomfortable and find the strength that is hidden inside of those.
You’ve Got This because He’s Got You! <— #truth #onlyjesus #gracewins
I am the type of person that needs physical reminders of God’s unfailing love for me and how victorious I can be in this life. Some of my favorite reminders are posting bible verses on index cards and hanging them on my mirror and refrigerator, along with wearing jewelry charms.
By clicking on the pictures below you will be taken directly to my ‘LaBella Baskets’ Gift Shop!
Memory Bears made from your favorite clothing made right here in Beaufort, South Carolina. My Sewing Needle is owned and operated solely by Stephanie Grams. Grams has been sewing since her grandma and mother taught her at the age of seven, and hasn’t put the sewing needle down since! You can find Grams selling her OOAK primitive dolls and offering memory bear sewing services year round! Visit Stephanie’s contact page for media inquiries and/or to place an order for a memory bear!